Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Sleeping With Tony Jones

Rebecca: The one that’s really getting me lately is…when my partner goes to bed he hangs the iPad above the bed head and puts on The Drum or Tony Jones or Lateline or Q&A, lies down, puts his ear plugs in, and then goes to sleep. He puts it on at such a level that he can hear it through his earplugs and I’m lying next to him trying to read a book with the iPad blasting at me.
 JV: Ah.
Rebecca: If I go to turn it down he notices. So, I have to wait until he fully starts snoring until I can start even contemplating going to sleep.
JV: Oh that’s annoying isn’t it.
Rebecca: It’s… And often if I do fall asleep I start dreaming of Tony Jones or Steve Kinnane or Julia Baird. It’s too much!
JV: That’s a delightful team to have wandering about your dreams I would have thought.
Rebecca: Yeah, but through the earplugs? It’s like, don’t wear earplugs if you want to hear it, but he’s like ‘if I fall asleep I like to have earplugs in.’
JV: Oh, so you’d almost rather it was present in the room. Just the speaker, not the ear phones?
Rebecca: Well no, when I say earplugs I mean earplugs to block out noise not headphones. So he listens to it really loudly coming out of the speaker.
JV: Oh! He’s got earplugs in?
Rebecca: Earplugs!
JV: Oh, I thought you just meant headphones.
Rebecca: No, no. Earplugs.
JV: He’s got earplugs to block noise out…
Rebecca: But puts noise on really loudly to get through it!
JV: (Laughs)
Rebecca: It’s driving me insane.
JV: Oh that’s just wrong.
Rebecca: In so many ways.
JV: Look, I haven’t made this judgement about many Rebecca but with this one I’ll just say that’s not put-up-with-able at all.
Rebecca: I…I….Look, you don’t want to cause conflict. I’m not having conflict in bed.
JV: No, but I mean…so, they’re those foam earplugs?
Rebecca: Foam earplugs. We’re both addicted to them. I can understand that. Since living in renovations, that’s what happens.
JV: Yes, yes.
Rebecca: And he snores so obviously that’s okay for me, but I don’t have to listen to current affairs.
(Phone rings in background)
JV: That’s your husband ringing now.
Rebecca: It is. It is.
JV: ‘How dare you. Get off the radio.’
Rebecca: He’s at work I don’t think he’s listening to the radio.
JV: So, earplugs are in, he’s got the iPad blasting.
Rebecca: Blasting!
JV: That would be so annoying.
Rebecca: It is.
JV: Can’t he put…if he’s got earplugs in…he could get headphones that got over the earplugs.
Rebecca: I’ve tried that and he says they’re uncomfortable.
JV: Oh, I’m sorry.
Rebecca: I even said ‘look you can get speakers that go in your pillow,’ but he said he wouldn’t be able to hear it through his earplugs.
JV: Wow. How long has he been doing this?
Rebecca: Oh, look…since the iPad came into the bedroom. He didn’t do it with the radio because there wasn’t as much on the radio but he’ll save up Tony Jones. Every night for a week, will try and watch Q&A, or listen to Q&A and he’ll fall asleep within seven minutes.
JV: I see, so he’s got a bit more the next night.
Rebecca: Yeah.
JV: And the next day you’re walking around saying ‘I’ll take that as a comment.’ ‘Come on we’ve got a bit to get through here so I’ll have to move on.’ Gee that is an intriguing one isn’t it? I’m just so intrigued by listening to stuff through earplugs. It’s just so contrary.
Rebecca: Yes, but that’s the man I live with.
JV: Yeah. Live with and love Rebecca?
Rebecca: Of course.
JV: Mm. I know, if you didn’t love them…
Rebecca: I wouldn’t put up with it.
JV: You would have brained him with that iPad by now right?
Rebecca: Yes. Definitely.

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