Wednesday, November 13, 2013

The Car Cabin Is Not A Democracy

JV: What do you live with Jason?

Jason: Um I just... sometimes I get in the car...well, all the time I get in the car and I know where I’m going but my wife seems to think she knows a better way to go. When, in fact, being a Sydneysider and her a Melbournite, I figure I’ve got one up on her. It doesn’t matter where we’re going. I’ve been driving around this fair city for the better part of 35 years now and it’s just hilarious. Even when we’re going the same way to the same place, as we often do travelling around with kids, ‘why you going this way?’ ‘Why you going this way?’ ‘Why don’t you go that way?’

JV: Right.

Jason: ‘This is the worst way to go. It’s the slowest way to go.’

JV: How long has she been here Jason?

Jason: Not long enough clearly.

JV: Not long enough...and does she drive around much?

Jason: Ah yes as much as I do, if not more, but I’ve gotten to the stage now where I just laugh. I say ‘enjoy the ride honey, don’t worry we’ll get there.’

JV: Yeah, look I think I’ve lived with something similar over the years and my approach has been...look, I’d like to say that I’ve pulled the car over and said ‘okay you drive then,’ but I haven’t quite got that far. I’ve more or less hinted at that.

Jason: I think you need to take my approach mate and just smile and keep going, y’know, enjoy the ride.

JV: Well I’ve got to the point of going ‘you know what? How about we just never have this discussion again?’

Jason: That won’t work. I put it to you, that that will not work.

JV: (Laughs) Well I tried to get to a rule that the driver will determine these things – you know – the route choice, whether we’re changing lanes or not, that sort of stuff – and the passenger will have no input into these things whatsoever.

Jason: You’re assuming that the cabin of the car is a democracy.

JV: No, no, I’m actually pointing out that you’ve got to decide these things at some point because otherwise you go nuts. See mine would do the ‘why don’t you change lanes? That lane’s empty,’ and you go ‘well, I’m driving the car.’

Jason: But that would take a rational conversation.

JV: (laughs) Yeah Jason, I can see there’s an issue here.

Jason: I’ve put some work into it, don’t you worry. I’m not getting anywhere so now I just laugh. I smile and I laugh.

JV: Yeah, yeah.

Jason: I figure that’s the best approach to a lot of things these days.
JV: No, very good Jason you’re settling into marriage well. I think it’s going very well.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

The Case of the Invisible Boat

JV: Chris, what do you live with?

Chris: Well I have a husband and he’s lovely but he keeps buying toys for his boat.

JV: Uhuh.

Chris: The one he doesn’t actually own yet.

JV: He doesn’t have a boat?

Chris: No, he doesn’t have a boat...but we have skis, and we have floating toys, and we have a biscuit, and other things that you put behind a boat and tow along. We just don’t have the boat.

JV: Have you suggested that if he stopped buying the toys he might have enough money to buy the boat?

Chris: I think I have, in fact, resorted to that.

JV: Right. That would seem like the first port of call.

Chris: Yeah it would, it would. But he’s waiting for the boat. The toys are waiting for the boat.

JV: Does he have a particular boat in mind? Obviously something with power because you can tow things and all that sort of stuff.

Chris: Absolutely he does. It belongs to somebody else at the moment.

JV: Oh okay, and does he reckon he’s going to be able to buy it soon enough?

Chris: Well he’s hoping to. He keeps driving past it and going ‘there’s my boat.’

JV: Right, right.

Chris: Of course he has to get through the financial controller for that.

JV: Okay, which is you?

Chris: Yes.

JV: Yeah, and is that moment going to come soon when he might get through the financial controller?

Chris: He has to do a bit more work I’d say.

JV: A little more work! (laughs)

Chris: A little more work.

JV: That is odd. So does he think buying the toys is a way of going ‘come on, I’m serious, I want the boat,’?

Chris: You know what? I think so and I think he’s actually getting the children on side too.

JV: Ah yeah.

Chris: Because these children...the toys have been attached to said boat at some point in time with the children on top of them so they could all gang up on me. 
JV:  That's interesting thank you Chris. Lots of responses coming through on the text service here. Cam’s suggesting ‘I think he owns it already.’ Interesting. He’s already bought the boat...Hmm. Carl says ‘at the risk of breaking the man code, the pre-approval purchase is common practice. Like the bloke I know whose wife said after 2 weeks, “why has the four wheel drive been coming home with you a lot recently?”’ (laughs) He's bought it Chris!