JV: What do you
live with?
Maureen: I live
with a husband who has a severe aversion to closing doors.
JV: Really?
Maureen: He will
not close any door, ever.
JV: Now is this
just doors to rooms or cupboard doors?
Maureen: This is
all doors. His normal routine after work would be to come in, park the car and
leave the car door open, or leave the car door open, or if the car door does
close, leave the window down. Then he opens the fly screen which remains open
and the front door remains open. Then he’ll go to the bedroom to the wardrobe
and get out clothes and leave the wardrobe open. You can walk around the house
and know everywhere he’s been because the pantry will be open, the wardrobe
door will be open. Everything is just left open.
JV: So he goes
out the back door to water the pot plants...
Maureen:
...leaves it open. Just does not ever close a door.
JV: Right. How
long have you been together?
Maureen: We’ve
just had our 20th wedding anniversary and we were together 6 years
before that.
JV: And in that
time has the leaving the door open become worse?
Maureen: Oh it’s
just always been the same. He’s never, ever, closed the door. We talked about
it early in the marriage. It used to really drive me insane and now it still
drives me insane. But he thinks I’m insane, he can’t see an issue with it
whatsoever.
JV: (laughs)
Maureen: He
thinks he’s doing me a favour, like I don’t need to open the wardrobe door or
the pantry door now.
JV: So he could
call in and say ‘I live with this woman who thinks it’s mad that I leave the
car door open,’?
Maureen: Exactly.
He thinks I’m totally insane because it really upsets me that the doors are
left open.
JV: But leaving
the car door open, I mean, that might leave the light on which drains the
battery..
Maureen: Well
quite often the key will still be in the ignition with the radio playing. When
you walk out at 11 o’clock at night, the door’s open, the key’s in the ignition
and the radio’s playing.
JV: oh!
Maureen: Yep.
Quite often.
JV: So, I mean there’s
issues beyond whether it’s just kind of ‘I’m a bit casual about it, it doesn’t
really matter.’
Maureen: Even in
August the heater’s on in the house but no, the door’s wide open.
JV: So all the heat escapes.
Maureen: Yes,
yes. The freezing southerly blows in the lounge room.
JV: Is the car
parked on the street, or is it a garage?
Maureen: No, no,
it’s in the driveway.
JV: So therefore
anybody could walk in while the car’s open?
Maureen: Of
course...they could drive away, or walk into the house. Yep.
JV: What about
when he leaves? Does he leave the front door open when he leaves?
Maureen: Yes, of
course.
JV: So leaves in
the morning and leaves the front door open?
Maureen: Yep.
Leaves the front door open. We’re all in bed.
JV: And what
about when he gets to work, say, does he leave the doors open there as well?
Maureen: Quite
possibly. I’m not quite sure what he does when he gets to work. Quite possibly.
I would find it hard to believe that he closes them. I think maybe as a child
he was locked behind a door. There may have been an issue.
JV: You’ve
thought about whether there’s psychological scarring.
Maureen: I have.
I have because I personally like the wardrobe door shut. I can’t go to sleep
without it. As a child I used to think there were things in the wardrobe so I
need to have it shut to go to sleep. Maybe he’s the opposite. I’m trying to get
to the bottom of it.
JV: Sometimes
it’s good to look for family traits in these things. Are there brothers or
sisters?
Maureen: He’s got
an identical twin and I’m pretty sure he’s very similar.
JV: That’s
interesting isn’t it?
Maureen: Yes,
yes.
JV: Now would you
be able to raise this, this evening?
Maureen: I could.
JV: And what sort
of reception would you expect to get?
Maureen: He’ll
just shake his head and look at me like I’m insane and what’s the issue. He
won’t see it as being a problem. He just thinks it’s all me.
JV: What does he
do for a living?
Maureen: He’s in
air conditioning. (laughs)
JV: That’s almost
perfect too isn’t it?
Maureen: An air
conditioning mechanic.
JV: Do you think
when he’s out there servicing he says ‘now don’t forget to shut the door when
you’ve got the air conditioning going in this room,’?
Maureen: Maybe that’s the reason why the
house isn’t cooling or heating.
JV: Thank you
Maureen. Good luck and thank you for joining us. Now, one of the things I love
about this is, of course Maureen has this issue, and now feels better having
talked about it. We’re now trying to get some mediation happening in the house.
But also, other people may have the same problem. Denise?
Denise: Yes
James?
JV: You’re not
alone Denise.
Denise: Oh God,
James it drives me absolutely insane!
JV: Now my son is
13 years old and has listened to your segment while in the car and he said to
me ‘you need to ring James. We’ve got the same problem mum.’ You’ve got the
same problem. So, the 13 year old has recognised the problem in the father.
Denise: Correct,
and it drives the 13 year old insane as well. Just as it drives me insane.
JV: Any other
children?
Denise: No,
there’s just the three of us and the dogs, and the cats, and the goats, and the
alpacas. And he leaves gates open!
JV: Leaves gates
open?
Denise: Gates
open! So stock goes wandering.
JV: You’ve got
animals so therefore he really should know better. That’s endangering the
animals and others.
Denise: Correct.
It drives me insane and, when I get home from work, if he beats me home I can
see where he’s been all day.
JV: Well this
what was Maureen was saying.
Denise: I can
track his movements.
JV: And is he at
home all day?
Denise: No, no,
he comes in and out but if he beats me home I can tell where he’s been and what
time he’s been home because the other annoying thing he does is he leaves all
the cupboard doors open. So you know if he’s made a cup of tea or he’s been to
the pantry...and then the dog gets in the pantry so I get dog biscuits on the
floor. And another annoying thing he does is he makes a cup of tea and he
leaves the teaspoon on the bench and he never puts it away. I can always tell
that he’s made a cup of tea.
JV: Oh...that’s
just...really...I mean appalling behaviour.
Denise:
Appalling!
JV: You know.
Apparently a civilised man and yet he leaves the teaspoon on the bench.
Denise: Yes. Yes.
I’m just glad I’m not alone.
JV: You’re not
alone Denise. Have you tried to talk to him about it?
Denise: I gave
up! Gave up years ago.
JV: What
about...you know I said to Maureen would you try and talk about it tonight,
would you do the same?
Denise: Oh, I
gave up. I think I’ve been married three years longer than Maureen and I’ve
given up but maybe the thirteen year old – I’ll tell him when I pick him up
from school – he’ll be so happy that I’ve spoken to you James.
JV: Tell the
thirteen year old – he’s probably technologically savvy – tell him to record
the conversation with his dad. Ah, Linda has written in and said James could you give me the contact
details of Maureen? I think she’s having an affair with my husband. There could
not be two guys that leave everything open: car doors, front door, every
cupboard and drawer. Well that now makes three guys. Three guys that do this as
standard. Janet’s got a solution. Janet, how are you today?
Janet: Well
actually I think I’m married to Denise’s husband. It’s a little disquieting.
JV: Yeah well
Linda think she’s married to Maureen’s husband or Maureen’s having an affair
with her husband.
Janet: Well it’s
obviously a common affliction.
JV: You would
know, I think, if there was an affair going on because they’d leave the door of
the lover’s house open.
Janet: Well it
couldn’t happen behind closed doors.