Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Too Much Is Never Enough

JV: What do you live with Tim?

Tim: I live with my husband who I have renamed ‘too much is never enough.’

JV: Mmhmm.

Tim: I won’t give you the rest of his name because he works at the ABC and he might hear us.

JV: Oh okay! What area of the ABC might he work in Tim?

Tim: Part of the television department.

JV: Part of the television department...okay...Go on, what does this husband do?

Tim: He thinks a small amount of something is good so therefore a large amount of the same thing is always going to be that much better. So the front loading washing machine is always in suds lock because he always puts in a lot of soap.

JV: Mm.

Tim: A small dinner party for four people will always become a dinner party for eight adults and six children.

JV: So he’ll just keep on inviting people? You’ve had in your mind ‘this will be a lovely intimate occasion and a chance for us to get to know Eric and Dave,’ and suddenly there’s 15 people there.

Tim: That’s right, and the Camparis that we serve to start off have always got too much Campari in them and not enough blood orange so everyone’s drunk before we even start eating.

JV: Right, right.

Tim: And a three course dinner becomes and eight course dinner, you know.

JV: Wow. So excessive in everything?

Tim: Everything!

JV: Mm...and how have you tried to deal with this?

Tim: Well I’ve given him the name ‘too much is never enough.’ And...That’s pretty much all you can do now.

JV: So your only reaction to this is a bit of a nickname?

Tim: Well, I used to pull him up on things and ask why but I long ago gave up trying to change him.

JV: How long have you been together?

Tim: Thirteen years.

JV: So I imagine, in the first year or two, you’d think it was specific. You put too many suds in the washing machine. You put too much Campari in the cocktails. When did you realise he put too much into everything?

Tim: It’s been a gradual realisation over a period of time but it really dawned on me maybe five years ago. I thought ‘this is just a universal behaviour.’

JV: Yeah that’s what I mean because I would imagine at first you’d go ‘don’t put so many suds in the washing machine.’ You’d be trying to deal with the specific issue. Was that what happened?

Tim: Pretty much. It sort of started with one thing and then it was another thing and know...he mows the lawn every week, and if two tomato bushes are going to produce enough beautiful tomatoes then we’ll have 25 tomato bushes in the garden.

JV: So everything!


JV: Everything is bigger and bigger. Wow!

Tim: It’s hilarious! You have to laugh.

JV: Well, are you laughing about it Tim?

Tim: (in a high voice) I am.

JV: A little bit hysterically. Does he think of you as stingy?

Tim: (laughs)

JV: Is the flip side ‘that’d be Tim, he doesn’t know how to have fun, Mr keep it to himself,’?

Tim: Yeah ‘the fun police’ is what he calls me. Because I only have two pairs of shoes going at any one point in time and he’ll have about 24.

JV: So have you ever tried to talk to him about the fact that this is across all areas? ‘You have a character flaw my friend, you do everything to excess.’

Tim: Yes. It’s become a joke now amongst all of our friends as well. It’s a very endearing quality that he’s so enthusiastic about everything that... yeah... everything. I’ve come to embrace it as a particular character trait which is more endearing than it is annoying.

JV: Yeah. Well Producer Laura has reminded us of the Oscar Wilde quote: ‘Moderation is fatal, nothing succeeds like excess.’

Tim: Well he’s extremely successful.

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